Safety

BDSM activities may be potentially dangerous if appropriate precautions are not taken. In particular, it is sometimes the practice that the submissive will complain of suffering or beg the dominant to stop, and that this will be ignored by the dominant. Therefore, one aspect to ensure safety is to agree upon a safe word. If the dominant and submissive are in a scene that causes unacceptable discomfort (physical or mental) for the submissive, a safe word can be uttered to warn the dominant of trouble and immediately call for a stop to the scene.

Sometimes BDSM may involve a 'simulation' or 'role play' of non-consensual acts. A dominant and a submissive may choose to pretend that the submissive is being forced to do something unwillingly. Therefore, words like "No!" or "Stop!" are inappropriate as safe words, because a submissive playing the role of a victim would say these words as part of the scenario. The ideal safe word is a word or brief phrase (such as "red light") that normally would not be spoken during a sadomasochistic act, and which therefore calls attention to itself by its own incongruity.

A common practice is to use multiple levels of safe words. For example, the safe word "green" to increase the intensity/pressure/force, "yellow" would be employed to indicate "You are approaching an intensity (or an activity) that I don't wish to experience; please do not continue this scene further in this direction, or do not increase the intensity", while the safe word "red" would mean "Stop this and release me now." The stoplight safe word mechanism is the most common one found in the BDSM community, and as such is universally recognized, causing less potential confusion than some random safe word might. 

In situations where the submissive's mouth is gagged, or the submissive is otherwise incapable of speaking without violating the fetish scenario, a non-verbal signal is used instead of a safe word. Typically this might be the clenching and unclenching of one or both fists, the dropping a bell or ball, snapping of the fingers, or uttering three loud grunts in quick succession. 

It is possible that a dominant may ignore a safe word. A dominant who acquires a reputation for ignoring safe words will experience increasing difficulty finding BDSM partners. Some partners may not use a safe word, as the submissive may have full faith that the dominant can be totally trusted. This concept is debated regularly amongst people in the BDSM lifestyle and observers will find a variety of opinions. Within this sub-culture and community in a lifestyle based on trust, a person who is not known, or not trusted, does not easily find partners.

Please be safe and use any bondage gear you buy from us responsibly.

Ball Gag Safety Guidelines